slow going [147 miles]

It feels like I should be a lot further along in my walking/running journey than I am. Probably because I'm ambitious and play out things in my head more than I should. Anybody else? Yeah, I thought so!

But, the weather hasn't exactly been kind to me, being spring in Wisconsin. This week it's in the mid-30s again, with lows dipping into the 20s. And the wind today was brutal! Thankfully the sun is out. That sunshine makes all the difference for me. It's like we are intertwined or something.

Today I hit 147 miles. It's day 104, and I guess even though I feel like I should be farther along, it's also still crazy to me that I have walked every single day for one hundred and four days. That I'm approaching the 150 mile mark.

My mental health would be so bad right now if it weren't for this walking discipline that I created. It would be so hard to force myself off the couch, honestly. And I also might not actually be getting anything done indoors either because of lack of energy. As it is, walking daily has bolstered my energy.

That previous paragraph seems like common sense, and it's all stuff I've told myself for years, but it obviously just took forever to set in. I'm also getting a better handle on my stress eating now that we are a few weeks into this quarantine situation. People are saying there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but I'm unsure. It feels like we're in this for the long haul.

Meanwhile, I keep walking, and pushing myself on the days I feel I am able. And soon I'll be passing 200 miles. I just know it.

quarantine thoughts [130 miles]

Day idk of "safer at home" or quarantine or self-isolation or whatever we're calling it now...I'm still walking! Slowly. The weather here in southeast Wisconsin has been m i s e r a b l e.

So much gloom.
So much cold wind and rain.

SO LITTLE SUNLIGHT.

My body isn't happy. Cooped up inside with only walking as a real outlet is hurting me mentally and physically. And, emotionally, but hey, it's all connected, right?

Today things changed a bit from the last couple weeks. It was warm and partly sunny. I am actually typing this while sitting out on the deck enjoying a White Claw (mango, if you're curious).

My walk today was 1.33 miles, and 15 minutes of the 30 I spent in the "cardio zone" for HR according to my Fitbit. It made me feel pretty damn good.

It is now day 92 of the year and day 92 that I have walked. I am over 130 intentional miles.

If I could just stop stress eating and having panic attacks in the middle of the night, things would be perfect. But we can't have everything. #sarcasm

The Inner Runner

The world is shut down but I'm still walking.

the frozen waters of Long Lake, Dundee, WI

Feeling the urge to run more and more, but I'm pacing myself because it's still quite chilly out most days. Walking in 20-30 degree weather (and colder!) is one thing, but my joints don't much like to be pushed to their limit.

Currently I am reading a book called The Inner Runner, which has had a profound effect on how I'm approaching this practice. The author, an avid runner himself, explains the physical experience of running, down to the cellular level. His descriptions of what happens in our muscles when we run...it was beautiful.

I've always struggled with being human. And by this I mean, being aware of what my body is and can do. What a miracle we all are, from conception to death. How I relate to the world and other humans in my body. Understanding the power my body has, on all levels, is something I'm slowly awakening to. It's wild. It's freeing. And it's beautiful. And I gotta admit, it feels damn good.

Knowing what is happening physically to my body when I exercise is something I never knew I needed. It's funny, because I checked The Inner Runner out from the library once before, a year or so ago, hoping it would be motivating. I never got to it, and didn't think about it again until recently. Seems to me the time wasn't right.

Now, the time is right. Now, the knowledge I'm encountering is relevant, and my mind is ready to receive it. Happy Spring and happy quarantine LOL.

My first mile!

Last night, after a great morning and a crummy afternoon, I ran my first mile. I was determined to do it, and if I'm honest, I was already ready to give it a go earlier in the day when I was feeling cheerful.

It was about 50 and rainy, and absolutely glorious. It felt freaking amazing. And, I was inspired to write a poem. Here it is.

**********************************

First run

I ran today
In the rain with my thoughts
The trickle of cool water
Flowing
Down my spine

I ran today
Feet pounding the pavement
Splashing through puddles
Washing away
The day

March rain
Nearly spring
Soaking into my skin

One mile
Breathe in
Breathe out
Inhale
Exhale
Run
Run
Run

**********************************

Today I took a leisurely walk and stretched my muscles while I caught Pokemon and battle at a few gyms. And thought all day about how I'm going to run again soon. But I do need to get fitted for good shoes, so that's on the agenda.

Welcome

Hey hey, happy Daylight Savings to everyone who lives where it's the law. I personally hate the few days around the spring forward because I'm more tired than usual. Takes some time to adjust.

I'm writing this to say hello and welcome to my blog! I've created more than a few of these in my lifetime, all for various reasons, but this one here is pretty specific.

For much of my life, I've dealt with depression and anxiety, the former being worse most of the time. I also was not interested in exercising. Working out, going to the gym, nah, not for me. I did not learn of the mental and emotional benefits of physical activity when I was younger, and even after I did, I really thought nah, not for me. I'm much more likely to read a book for hours than spend hours at the gym.

But lack of exercise, life changes, etc, were truly taking their toll; I don't know how long I haven't really been myself. I was desperate. Nothing I ever tried really worked, and I've always been reluctant to try medication, though I know it works for many many people.

Last December, I had reached yet another very low point, approaching rock bottom. 2019 was mostly a good year, but something in me snapped. I knew I had to actually DO something. So I purchased a daily running journal for 2020 and said "January 1st, I start walking, no matter the weather."

And that's exactly what I did.

Now, as of yesterday at 67 days, I've walked for at least 15 minutes every single day, slowly increasing my time and mileage. And yesterday I hit a huge milestone: 100 intentional miles walked.

I may have cried a little when I realized how much walking has changed me in the past two months. The good habit has crept into everything, and it's also making me realize I do actually like working out.

So now, the purpose of this blog is to continue walking, and journal that, until those walks become runs and I'm participating in 5ks and 10ks and eventually a half marathon. Because when my feet take me places, I feel like I'm on top of the world. I love to fly like the wind, and the feeling of my feet pounding and leaving the pavement beneath me.

Welcome to Elisabeth Runs.
I hope you enjoy this journey as much as I do.